About Sex… Let It Go… Guilt
The Thing About Guilt
Do you remember Chris Isaak’s song “Baby Done a Bad Bad Thing”? Do you run it around your head on an endless loop when you’ve made a ‘mistake’? How’s that working for you?
With the last of Autumn energy in mind, it’s time to clear out the guilt and grief, so we can get ‘unstuck’, ‘unblocked’, back into Life, doing what we are meant to be doing.
Your “bad, bad thing” could be fear of failure, fear of being caught out, fear of being seen for who we truly are and rejected for it. It can be the big things like hurting others, or ourselves. It can be the things we do or say when we are angry or hurt. When we feel our survival is threatened in some way, whether real or imagined. Others can act this way toward you for the same reasons.
Holding onto this pain/ guilt/ grief affects the Self Image- who we were and who we are now- and it fills the mind with misperceptions of the past and future. We start looking at ourselves and life through a dirty window.
As a result, we create stories around “the incident” to somehow make sense of it, and to make ourselves right. We can create/ hold grudges and pain when something terrible has happened to us, or relentlessly whip/ punish/ berate/ admonish and diminish ourselves for making a mistake (including letting another hurts us) and get stuck in the ‘I feel like crying’ .
These are all GREAT reasons to come in for an appointment…to clear out the patterns of guilt that hold you back from being Present and enjoying your Life. To clear out the fears that block you from moving forward at work, in relationships, your health and your money.
The Choice comes when you decide if what you feel guilty about is an expensive mistake or a valuable mistake.
Expensive mistakes weigh us down because we hold onto them, we keep on punishing ourselves and feeling guilty. We feel less than our True Self.
Valuable mistakes are those we learn from, let go of the pain and never repeat.
It’s Autumn when we prune the dead wood and let go of the habits and beliefs than no longer work for us. Like holding onto old regrets, grudges and fears that hold you back from living the life you are meant to.
You can make the Choice to continue in your old patterns of expensive mistakes or come on in and Choose to make it a Valuable learning by Letting Go and getting back into Life.
The Choice is Yours.
Looking forward to hearing from you or seeing you for an appointment or in a workshop soon!
Be kind and True to You.
All the best,
Deb
Late Autumn Let It Go Exercise
By doing this exercise at this time you can access seasonal energy of Autumn and Let Go and take the Next Step into the life you are meant to be living NOW… gently, easily, lovingly and well supported. So, if you haven’t had time earlier in Autumn to do this exercise, give yourself 15 minutes to play with this exercise.
1. Swish water around your mouth to wake up the brain then follow it with a normal mouthful of water to hydrate.
2. Headhold and breathe…place your hand across the forehead and the other hand across the back of the skull. This adds blood flow to the frontal lobe and the limbic system (Home of Emotions), and to the back brain…bringing you back into Present Time whilst calming you down. Headholding and breathing helps all quadrants of the brain to talk to each other giving you a Whole brain response.
3. Now BREATHE through your NOSE: In for 4, hold for 2, Out for 4, hold for 2 and repeat 9 times. The 3rd time you may feel more agitated/upset. The 6th breath you may feel fine. On the 9th breath you activate a deep relaxation response. Notice.
4. Now take a sheet of paper and write down the story about the guilty feelings you have. What was the bad bad thing you did or that someone did to you? It maybe something you have never told anyone, that you have felt ashamed or embarrassed about of all your life. Take the time to write everything you remember from this time and you feelings, and the times since that it has become a problem for you. Write it all down.
5. The rip it up….when you write it down your brain sees it as real. When you rip it up it says “I can let that go”, just like your shopping list.
6. Headhold and breathe, in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Repeat 9 times.
7. Emotional Energy Cleanse: Imagine a celestial vacuum cleaner zooming around you cleaning out your emotional residue –wherever you feel heavy, sick, sad, angry IN your body, let the vacuum cleaner clean it up. When it’s gone and you feel lighter DESTROY the vac. Send it to the sun, into a volcano, put it in a vat of acid. Nothing is to remain, it must be completely destroyed.
8. Shake out your arms.
9. Headhold and breathe for 9 reps then swish some water.
10. Energy Cleanse: Imagine a bubble/ force field of energy around your body filled with smog, mud,sludge. Use the vacuum cleaner to clean it up. When you feel the bubble around your body is crystal clear and light, DESTROY the vacuum cleaner.
11. Shake out your arms. Headhold and breathe for 9 reps, swish some water.
12. Now begin to imagine what life will be like in 6 months, a year, 2 years, 10 years into the future. How do you walk, talk, hold yourself at this time? What are you doing at this time that is evidence that your life has changed by letting guilt and grief go? Write it down, the brain loves detail, so write it all down. The scene, the sense you get (eg.calm, fulfilled, at peace..).
13. Notice where you feel it in your body, breathe into that space in your body. Remember what you focus on grows, so feel that sense growing. Give it a colour- the first that comes to mind. Imagine it, feel it filling that space.
14. Now, give yourself a BIG self hug. Tell yourself 1 thing you are proud of doing today or 1 wonderful quality you love about yourself. Breathe it in.Squeeze, like you REALLY mean it.
15. Your challenge if you choose to accept it is to do this exercise once a day for 7 days. Take advantage of the Autumn and the spiritual energy to clean out the old wounds to self heal and create the healthy, loving life you are seeking.
Looking forward to hearing your feedback!
And seeing you for an appointment or in a workshop soon!
Be kind and True to You.
All the best,
Deb
Sex? Say What?
Do you ever have sex when you feel down, angry or negative and feel better afterwards?
Do you ever have sex feeling good at the start and then start feeling down, angry or negative?
Have you ever wondered what’s happening that causes that?
Or wonder where those pre-sex feelings/ thoughts/ and energies go?
Sex is as much an energetic exchange as a physical, mental and emotional exchange.
Sensational sex occurs when all your chakras/ energy centres (see pic above) connect with the person you are having sex with.
When one or another are blocked, so is the sexual flow and it becomes a chore, uninspiring, frustrating and unsatisfying.
What causes the blocks to the energy/ auric field?
Thoughts, stress, anger, fear, unresolved issues…your past and the past of the person you are having sex with can be locked into the energy field and when triggered by something as intimate as sex can block the flow, or be transferred from one energy field to another. Multiple partners, multiple energies….confused aura/energy field.
And as you share energy as a part of the intimacy of sex you can also share your bad mood, unresolved issues or ‘catch’ your partners.
So it’s time to be more selective who you have sex with.
Want babies? It’s important to remember that when a child is conceived it can also carry the energy of conception.
What does all this mean? It’s time to take a greater responsibility for your own mental, emotional and physical health.