Let’s Talk About Sex

Warning: Some of these ideas may cause offence, although none is intended. Please stop reading if you are offended. Parents: please authorise/ give your children before they read further.

 

First Things First: Being Present…

Had you ever considered orgasm as the true test of Being Present?

 

Think about it. How many thoughts cross your mind in any given minute? Do they stop just because you are having sex? Eventually as your interest in the moment increases, I am hoping they do. In the meantime passing through your thoughts are The Shopping list, the To Do list, can you pay the gym membership this month, have you filled up the car?

 

Add to this your feelings about your weight, your size, whether you shaved and wondering if you are taking too long or not long enough… it’s a wonder people ever have sex at all. Times this stress by 10 if you have ever had difficulty sexually- performing, climaxing, awkwardness, anything that makes you doubt and second guess yourself- then times it by 100 if it happened more than a few times and enjoying sex to it’s ultimate fulfilment can feel almost impossible.

 

So in a kinesiology consultation Your brain tells us what emotional patterns you need to let go of to become your true self, which meridian systems it affected to deplete your energy so we can reorganise it, which beliefs systems are getting in the way. Once we reorganise things, sex starts to get better…the way your life is meant to be.

 

And the homework? Sometimes it IS Head Holding and Breathing to stay Present – to stop all those nagging thoughts and distracting doubts- and to Be Present to enjoy the touch, pleasures and sensations that get you involved in the moment. Sound funny? It is. Especially to those that send me ELATED sms’ in the idle of the night because it worked!

 

What Else gets in the Way?

 

Our parents (and others we put in authority) gave us messages about sex before they gave us The Talk. They showed us by their behaviour and in their energy and emotions toward sex whether it was a wonderful, natural part of life or not, depending on how they felt about it.

 

Add to that their HUGE sales pitch in your teen years when they would do or say anything to keep you safe and stop you from becoming a parent yourself until you could manage. Then add peer pressure, and media pressure and a whole lot of misinformation and misperception.

 

Then There’s The First Context…

 

It’s with all this and a whole lot of feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness plus a whole lot of questions we create our first sexual experiences. If they are positive, just as with every First Experience/Context (whether first experience of school, exercise, travel, pocket-money), we want  MORE. If the first context was negative, it takes a lot of positive experiences to overcome the negative first context. And kinesiology makes that easier.

 

In Kinesiology sessions we do the deep work to help recognise the fears, beliefs and habits that your brain created earlier in your Life that are preventing you from attracting and enjoying the type of sexual life you are blocking yourself from having now. So you can Live the Life You are Meant to.

 

Which is why Sex is a key element to each of the workshops I offer.

 

Sex in the Workshops

In Living Life Passionately you are given the tools to discover what is important to you, what blocks you, and techniques to clear these blocks and create the sex life ( and Career, Health and Money life) you want. In Day 2 you learn ways to create the self esteem and self value you want and learn to communicate your true self, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually. So you can Live Life Passionately…with Love, Commitment and Purpose.

 

The skills, tools and techniques learnt in Ignite Your Heart help you to build Your Self Respect to honour your truth, to communicate your authentic self and create the types of healthy relationships you desire.

 

While in A Spirited Life we can look at Sex from the context of energy flow and an expression of spirituality, as an expression of the balance of the masculine and feminine within each of us and learn the tools to creating the Spiritual connection that fulfils you.

 

He said “ I can’t explain to my wife what you do but I know it makes me feel better.”

 

Many years ago in my very first clinic in Campbelltown I received a phone call from a concerned wife about her husband. He owned his own business, worked long hours and was stressed. She went on to explain they had been doing all they could to start a family and nothing had worked. Could I help?

 

I asked her to ask her husband to call me, if he was genuinely interested in making some changes. And he did, and he booked his first appointment. During the 5 or 6 times I saw him over the space of about 6 months as a part of the kinesiology process his brain revealed the patterns that were blocking his desire and ability to create a family.

 

He began to understand how his own attitudes and feelings toward the way he was fathered was affecting his ability to become a father. He remarked it was something he hadn’t considered. The beliefs he developed as a result of the way he thought and felt were getting in the way of him opening his heart and energy to assisting the conceiving process. Because as much as it is a very biochemical process Conception is equally a mental, emotional, energy and Spiritual exercise. Sometimes we forget that.

 

Remember, the way we think about Life affects the way we feel about life, affects the energy and ability we have to Do Life. If at some point in your life you have created patterns that are no longer helpful to your survival and thriving the kinesiology process shows me the processes to release and reorganise your system at the time it created the imbalance, so you can move more easily toward your goals and new life.

 

Conception

 

To create a life, a baby, a Spirit needs to come into the physical form. So, conception itself is one of the most spiritual moments we can experience.  There are many beliefs around conception, which we look into in more detail in the workshops I offer. The bottom line is that conception tests the ability to GIVE and RECEIVE of the prospective parents and their RESISTANCE TO CHANGE. When there is flow and ease in the ability to give and receive and they are open hearted and welcoming to Change, conception is easier.

 

Back to our friend. …His long hours and demanding workload additionally depleted his energy and meant on his down time he was constantly on catch up mode.  As a result of the sessions his energy levels improved and his emotional baggage shifted, he began to see life differently. As he said “ I can’t explain to my wife what you do but I know it makes me feel better.” With a big grin I suggested he say the same thing a different way to his wife. The next time she called she told me he had repeated the conversation we’d had, and they thought it all very amusing…seeing as we were working with improving his libido and sperm count. She added with a chuckle, “I have no idea what you are doing to him but he’s a different person. So much happier, clearer and passionate about life.”

 

That’s the way we deal with sex in Western Society, with giggles and snickers. In eastern medicine libido is well recognised and regarded as Life energy, the essence of life. It is a measure of how we survive and how well we thrive.

 

In Chinese Medicine kidney and liver meridian energy is often checked first when libido is low. Kidney energy is the core energy system in the body. It is in charge of creativity and libido…so no wonder your creative projects, thoughts and solutions fly out the window when you have no desire for sex.

 

I often see kidney energy imbalance occur in kinesiology sessions as a defence pattern- when your brain perceives your survival is threatened in some way, whether real or imagined, it can alter kidney and adrenal energy to help you survive. And if you are in survival mode, there is no room for babies. Which is actually what the brain thinks sex is for, regardless of how many times you tell it otherwise!

 

When Liver energy is affected so are our hormones. And the hormones affect the function and structure of the brain. Which is the real difference between males and females, aside from the obvious. The hormones running through the male brains and female brains create different structures and functions within the brains. So it’s a wonder we communicate at all. Thank goodness for sex!

 

When meridian organ energy is balanced and flowing, so are we and the sex drive is healthy. However, Kidney and Liver energy is also adversely affected by the thoughts, emotions and physical demands of the hectic lifestyle we have become so accustomed to. With long hours and high demands expected in the war zone known as The Workplace to ‘Survive’, to make ends meet and to pay for The Lifestyle.

 

Add to that the personal and society’s expectations of being the Perfect Person with the Perfect Life (thankyou Social Media) it brings with it extreme exercise regimes, diet limitations, family demands, consistent feelings of not being good enough, worthy enough, Enough.  SO when you are feeling  DRAINED, that your energy has gone to your feet and you are dragging them around, that the last thing you think about is sex or it’s been added to the To Do List…now you know why!

 

Fortunately, we can do something about it by bringing meaning, depth, connection, excitement and JOY back into your Life. Because THAT is what sex is for!

 

I saw a client recently who hadn’t been in for a while. She commented in the middle of the session with cheeky grin on her face “Well that’s it Deb. I can never come back. Every time I come here you tell me there are babies around me, and then I fall pregnant.” By the end of the session she realised something very important…you always have the choice as to how to utilise the Creative energy. And I reminded her, I wasn’t there when she had conceived the other babies.

 

Creative Energy

If she wanted to create babies that’s up to her. Artists use this Creative Energy to create new art work, authors write a new play or book, Financiers find a new BIG deal, chefs create culinary artistry, architects design and engineers build bridges.

 

HOW You use the CREATIVE energy is up to You. You ALWAYS have CHOICE…when you feel like you don’t, it’s time for a session.

 

Of course, my suggestion is always to use this energy to create the Life You are Meant to Live, the Life YOU Love.

 

People with healthy sex lives and appetites are more curious, more interested, more present and healthier. Sex is as important as meditation, quality food and water, time in nature and moving music to feed your soul and create quality of spirit.

 

I am reminded of that when clients give me feedback. I hear that all of Life lights up when you are lighter from letting go of your emotions and thoughts blocking you from connecting and seeing who and what Life really has in front of you. You are more connected to yourself and then attract likeminded others. You have more energy to do this.

 

A client was at a dinner party the night before her session with a group of friends some of which are also clients. Someone asked what she was up to the next day and she said “I’m going to see Deb”. The guy sitting next to her husband nudged him and grinned. I asked her, what was that about? She replied, “Didn’t you know Deb? After a session we all feel so much better, so much lighter from getting rid of ‘all the stuff’, and have more energy…it’s always “Romance Night” after any of the girls or their hubbies come in to see you.”

 

So, there you have it.

 

About the client and his wife in Campbelltown?  3 years after his last session and for 2 or 3 years after that he would call me to remind me “ I still have your book here Deb. It sits on my desk and when I see it I think of you and our sessions and how much they helped. My business is thriving, I have others working for me now and a major company is interested in purchasing us. My health is better than ever, I even make time to play golf with the wife and surf when I can. I remember what you said about feeding my Spirit.”

 

And how is your wife I asked?

 

Great. Thanks. She keeps asking me if I’ve called you to give you the update. About a month after our last session she fell pregnant, we are about to have our third. It’s so cool. Oh, and Deb…I’m the best Dad I can be. No more of that old stuff. It’s all about how good I want be, what I want to create. And the kids and the business and my life show that. Thanks. Thanks heaps Deb.

 

So, my question to You is…What do You Want to Create?

 

Well, get cracking!

 

Or give me a call.

 

 

All the best always,

Deb