What You Focus on Grows…

 

 

Almost 10 years ago I was told by a gardener I greatly admired that, on inspection, my bougainvillea would never bloom and it was time to throw it out. Against all evidence to the contrary however, I could imagine it lush and blooming and believed it possible so decided to keep it anyway. Part of me knew what it was capable of, if only I could find the key. 4 years ago it was still struggling regardless of how much or little I fed and watered it. On one of our country road trips I saw a bougainvillea that had grown through an old, tall, dead tree and was flourishing at least 5 metres high. I excitedly called to stop so I could take a photo but we had over driven the turn and missed the photo opportunity. “I’ll send the picture of it psychically to my plant “, I chuckled. So every time I have thought of my plant since I reminded it how strong, beautiful and capable of thriving it was, thought of the huge, beautiful bougainvillea in the old tree and how thrilled I was to see it. Repeating the process over time brought new resources, new solutions, new habits that continued to assist the plant outside my office window to grow and evolve, then blossom magnificently for all to enJOY! The gift that keeps on giving. And reminds me anything is possible. What You Focus on Grows.

 

 

Sorting Relationships

 

Over the last 8 weeks or so, across Venus retrograde, I’ve seen many clients sorting out their relationships.

 

Some have stepped up and into the conversations they have previously avoided to “clear the air” to move forward together, or not.

 

Calling it as you see it and feel it, through your heart, and asking for more or different or better can be one of the hardest things you can do, whether in your intimate relationships, work or with your bank.

 

It takes the desire and willingness to discover what you do want, give yourself permission to ask, then find the energy and ability to communicate it.

 

As a result some of these relationships have progressed into marriages, marriage proposals, job offers and a number have reported their credit interest rates dropping.

 

All by getting clear on what they want, releasing the beliefs, feelings and habits keeping them stuck, then communicating their needs in a way that supports them and the future of the relationship. Just LOVE this work!

 

Another reason I LOVE this work is it IS all about You.

 

The Life you are living is the life You have created by what you value and believe, by the way you think, imagine and feel with intensity ( fear or love) and repetition. That creates the energy for action. Or not.

 

Either way you are creating Your life.

 

Want MORE? Different? Better? That’s where I have been helping clients for over 20 years. Ask me how.

 

 

Relationship Upheavals

 

What of the clients struggling with relationships…marriages, partnerships, friendships, families?

 

In the turbulent time of relationship upheaval, in the midst of shock, shame, regret, anger, sorrow and hurt are pleas for strategies to “make things like they used to be”. And that’s what keeps us stuck.

 

What if instead you asked for the right relationship for you, in right way, in the right time for your life moving forward?

 

Most recently clients have reported that the old habit of sweeping communication under the rug has stopped working and are asking for help to create new ways of communicating.

 

Others have found old, addictive behaviours re-surfacing, secrets being revealed and outdated roles causing major upheavals demanding relationships be re-defined.

 

All are asking for help to release the old patterns that no longer support the future and growth of the relationship so they can create healthy relationships.

 

That signals the beginning of the healing process. By focusing on the kind of relationship you want, imagining what it looks like and how it feels, repeatedly, as a new habit Your brain begins to move toward creating that new reality.

 

The first thing that becomes clear? All the roadblocks, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, fears, habits, behaviours and defenses you use to stop yourself creating the relationship meant for you. Depending on what you brain tells us is right for you through the kinesiology/ muscle monitoring process ( when my hand is on your arm during your Personal Consultation), we can start to release the patterns that no longer work for you to reveal who you are when you are no longer in fear and defence so you can Be Your True Self.

 

 

Who Am I?

 

When we are under stress, especially relationship upheaval, we can sometimes have trouble remembering who we are.

 

It’s little wonder. Advertising, social media, our family and friends are constantly challenging us to be who they want.

 

It takes the conscious choices we make in each moment to be true to ourselves.

 

Then something changes everything. Something major happens…someone close leaves, we lose a job, a diagnosis is delivered, a truth is declared or revealed to shine a light on any delusions or misperceptions.

 

The way we have been living, the way we believed life to be no longer exists.

 

The way we think about our life is irrevocably changed. The filters, the references we have used to perceive our life no longer apply. We ask ourselves, “Who Am I? With or without this Who Am I Really?”

 

You can make a thousand lists until you realise what you are asking is “What Do I Believe?”. What you believe reflects in what you think, and that affects the way you feel and the energy you have to do your life, or not. Your beliefs are physically manifested in your day to day living, in what your life looks like and how you live your life.

 

If the beliefs are negative or limiting thoughts they will slow you down, hold you back or stop you in your tracks and keep you stuck. Your cynical comments and sarcastic or self-depreciating humour are expressions of your beliefs. The brain never registers the ‘humour’. It hears everything you think and say and believes it to be true… You are your own No.1 authority.

 

Your brain will create what you believe about yourself and your world…whether filled with fear, anger, loathing, resentment, bitterness, self-doubt.

 

You’ll stay there until you turn the negative into a positive that supports you in who you want to be and what you want to do and the healthy relationships you desire…. loving, trusting, generous, curious, kind, expansive.

 

It’s your choice. And we know, when you focus on something you create more.

 

 

Victim or Vulnerable?

 

When something major happens we question our ability to trust or believe, in ourselves and others.

 

Feeling a victim is survival mode, constricting and diminishing you and your energy. It creates and shifts blame outside of yourself by defining yourself by your life experiences.

 

Instead remind yourself you are the beliefs about your life experiences, someone far greater than the experience.

 

This then leads you into the strength of BEing Vulnerable, healing yourself with openness to receiving the best in life, taking personal responsibility for your life and beliefs about life, and expanding into a desire to grow.

 

The choice is yours each and every moment.

 

 

Something Missing?

 

Yet, there is still something more.

 

Beneath the disrupted feelings, beneath the defensive thoughts, beneath the protective beliefs is that part of yourself that is calm, JOYful, light, peaceful and Love.

 

If we make time to listen to that gentle, soft voice within us it reminds us who we are.

 

If we ignore it or avoid the opportunities it creates to connect, learn and grow we can create pain…in our body, heart and mind.

 

We pay attention or pay in other ways. When we pay attention, the pain from our spirit eases, we find peace and begin to heal our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and body.

 

When we have difficulty remembering, our spirit reminds us who we are. It reminds us of our true nature, who we are in our heart of hearts.

 

Look for the Light

 

From this place we can radiate and grow. It is our Truth, Light, Joy. Essence. Pure Love that Connects us to the heart of others, to our true Life path, to Life itself.

 

We can access it through our thoughts and feelings using Visualisations, Prayer (asking the Divine) and Meditation (listening to the Divine) until we learn to access it directly within.

 

To make decisions that help life Thrive and Flow with ease we can ask, “Am I reacting from my humanity or responding through my Divinity?”

 

Then you can start to Know and Live Your Truth and ask “What MORE Can I BE?”

 

 

Be True. Be Kind.

Deborah