Quote for the Week
“It is what a man thinks of himself that really determines his fate.”
– Henry David Thoreau
Polishing Your Communication
Some say Paths in Life are pre-destined others say they are made.
Me? I believe when we play to our strengths and clean up our ‘stuff’ it becomes easier to do what we LOVE and others benefit from us doing so.
From early childhood I have loved listening to people’s stories of how they triumph out of tragedy, create highs from their lows, what brings them down and what helps them rise above. AND their Passions…what fills their Life with love, commitment and purpose.
I also love sharing learnings, tools, techniques and a different way of looking at Life so it helps you to Be You Authentic Self.
So you can step out of survival mode and into Thriving by letting go of the Life others and your fears have told you you “have to” live.
So you can LIVE Your Life and Your Truth.
Working with the premise that I play to my strengths and consistently clear out the ‘stuff”, and the photo above as proof of the way I started Life….with all this said, may I add ( it may be no surprise to some of you) that at school my nicknames were Mighty Mouth, Motor Mouth and Miss Havachat.
On this basis and again, playing to my strengths and…
I realised early that Communication is the Key to Life- Listening AND Expressing.
Sometimes we forget it is a two way street.
“Huh? Whadduh ya say?”
Take a moment to Observe…
Who in your Life doesn’t listen to you?
How do You feel when that happens? Sad, hurt, confused, undervalued… What else?
What happens then? Are you happy with that person? Want to be around them?
Who in your life do You half listen to?
Half listening creates a bevy of confusion, miscommunication and drama in our lives…when is the last time this happened in yours? How much happiness came out of the situation? A moment of Being Present could have prevented it.
Have you noticed, to amp up the comedy or drama in movies or TV someone will be misheard entirely or a witness will overhear only part of the story, come in at the end of the sentence or be so worked up about something that a whole new story will be created?
As a child and even now, I become sad and frustrated when these confusions got in the way of healthy communication creating unhappiness and conflict and a HUGE waste of time. Yes, I know it’s a movie…I like to see the benefits of others enJOYing healthy communication- BEing Connected- and fortunately by the end of the movie the characters usually are. Or better off apart.
To create happy relationships, on TV, a movie, in the playground or at home, INTERESTED LISTENING needs to occur.
And that means TAKING THE TIME and CREATING THE SPACE so that others can be heard and others could be correctly informed.
So it is no surprise I chose the career I did to assist others to communicate more easily! Just as well too… I hear a lot about miscommunication in Personal Consultations and the consequences of half listening can be catastophic.
Yet part of the role of communication is to create connection with those around us.
Creating Connection
When we are heard we are connected:
It fills us up
Lights up possibilities and
Builds self worth and confidence.
And this happens in all relationships- whether in the playground, the office, in business, your family and friends. AND the relationship with yourself.
Misunderstandings cause disconnection and can arise for a number of reasons:
Being distracted by your own worries or thoughts
Your brain hears some key words and ‘connects the dots’ incorrectly
Filtering what’s being said through your own Story or experiences of Life that are different from the person speaking
You are in a sad/ angry/ Happy!!/ optimistic/ pessimistic state of mind and these feelings filter what is being said
Your judgments, beliefs, habits and fears get in the way of what is being said.
The Easiest-In-The -Moment way of BEing Focused and hearing what is being said?
Headhold and Breathe…hand across the back of your head and the other hand across your forehead…belly breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Repeat 9 times. So many clients tell me how helpful this technique is for keeping them in the moment, hearing correctly and responding appropriately- whether doing it before a meeting, a job interview, a date or an exam….when good Communication is important.
Becoming Your True Self and Best Friend
Creating a healthy relationship with Yourself and with those around you is often the topic of conversation and desired outcome of Personal Consultations here at the office, where we investigate and release old patterns and fears of Communication that no longer work for you. Then find ways to create healthy beliefs and habits for you to Communicate Successfully.
That can mean noticing how you are communicating to the world. The message you are sending out by the way you walk, talk, hold yourself, the clothes you wear, the way you behave, the music/ peeps/ movies/ box sets you love, who you hang with and what you love doing are all communicating You to the world.
Feeling uncomfortable in your life? Notice the message you are sending out into the world. Is it really you? Or someone you use to be? Tweak it or change it to who you are now or who you want to grow to be.
That’s Living the Path of Your Authentic (True) Self.
Growing Your Self Esteem, Self Worth and Confidence
Start to listen to Your Inner Voice…it may be nagging you to stop something, do something or begin something new….over and over and over again. You know that voice…it is always gentle, kind and loving AND repetitive. At other times your Inner Voice may gently and lovingly guide you to where you need to be to create the Life You are Meant to Be Living.
Begin NOW to Listen and ACT on the Inner Voice’s messages. They will always be loving, kind and positive. Some call it a Gut Feeling, a vibe, their intuition or their Nagging Inner Voice ( funnily enough). The more you listen and act on Yours the stronger your self esteem, self confidence and self worth will BE. And that’s the secret to BEing Your True Self.
It’s from listening to the needs of my clients in Personal Consultations that I created the workshops to add a different level of learning, tools and techniques to apply and improve Life. Living Life Passionately and A Spirited Life were created over 10 years ago. Then Ignite Your Heart was created about 5 years ago. In fact, ALL of my business has been created around listening to and filling the needs of my clients.So You can receive what it is that you need to keep you moving along your path to the Life YOU are meant to be living. The Life that means most to You.
To give You the tools to Live the Life You Are Meant To.
Ignite Your Heart came along at the time it did after consolidating years of research, experience and guidance with the Intention to assist others to heal the relationship with themselves and others.
Ignite Your Heart highlights the key to changing any relationship – with yourself, with your loved ones, with your colleagues, anyone – is to RELATE differently. That means learning to Communicate better because…
When We Change the Communication We Change the Relationship
Sometimes we get into habits of communicating that no longer support us or the health of the relationship. And because they are habits that can creep up on us, we are often unaware they have become ‘default’ modes. Then for some strange reason we can think that it is okay to speak with those we love most with least respect.
As with fears, old habits can be released and new habits created that are positive and in support of you and your goals.
We can do that in a Personal Consultation at the office, or you can come along to Ignite Your Heart and learn to:
Be Heard
Know What You Want and Ask for It
Be Respected and Admired
Be Connected
Communicate Your True Self better
And so much MORE!
In the meantime, be kind and True to You.
Wishing You All the Best Always,
Deborah
